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Illusion of Control

by Thrown Into Exile

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1.
Beyond The Grey 04:44
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Who will start the fight? For the battles on the horizon With no end in sight There is no use in compromising Running through the night Waiting for the terror to begin Filled with utter spite It’s a never-ending war Oh come what may Beyond the grey Who will stop our plight? Swarming in like ghosts drawn to their graves Shield the piercing light In the distance the eternal flames Ever burning bright Beckoning they’re calling out to me Trembling with fright All the horrors we’ll endure Oh come what may Beyond the grey Look away avert my eyes No hope no trace Nothing sacred left inside We’ll find another way Take my hand take my life Here lies our fate Here lies our fate Somewhere beyond the grey Goodbye to everything Who knows what it’s like? Victims of unending tragedy Tried with all our might To avoid inescapable defeat Tensions reached its height Loss is now the only thing I see Such a wasted life I will tolerate no more Face to face with my demise No hope no trace Nothing living left to hide Take me further from the light Now we’ll define the worst of times Cannot distinguish this wrong from right Beyond the grey That’s where you’ll find me Finally crossed to the other side
2.
The Wronged 04:05
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Cry to the skies above Awakening the flood Count the failures one by one Ready the time has come Break the silence Await the fall No resistance No lessons to be learned We identify with the unforgiving night There’s no use in us holding on The last of our kind Sent here on our own Remnants of regret Crawling in our sin We all come undone The hopeless and the scarred Reaching for meaning In this chaotic world We are the wronged Still fighting to survive No one gets out alive No one gets out alive Take these secrets Beyond the grave No ones listening No not this time- we can’t deny Will we ever find peace among the living? Will the guilt subside? No we can’t deny We’ve come so far Only to turn away We’ve come so far There will be hell to pay The last of our kind Sent here on our own Harrowing descent Crawling in our sin
3.
Misfortune Follows 04:38
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Silence Merciless tyrants Remain elusive It has only just begun Lie hidden Among the darkest Of my obsessions The most deplorable ones Wrought with revulsion You’re dredging the bottom Let go- The fear that drags me further below Left debilitated in isolation Now I know Control is nothing more than an illusion I will face this on my own The dread of shame that I’ve known Sinking deeper in me Caught in the undertow Further now Drowned in isolation Everywhere I go Misfortune follows Me like a killer Deranged and drenched in agonizing woe Try to escape it So cold and jaded Becoming the clinical misanthrope Now I’m turning into what I’ve always loathed Another psychotic episode Devoid of emotion in search of the antidote Control is nothing more than an illusion I am the abandoned Animal Living past regrets Entirely Utterly obsessed Emotionless Preying on the weakest one
4.
Wake of Fire 05:09
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I awake in solitude Brave this Hell I call home Fixated I'm seeing red No hope left dead and gone I invoke the vilest In the shadows seething Haunted by the memories Burning in the wake of fire I am nothing more Than the sum of all I've done Trudging through the storm Searching for what's left among the dead New life reborn Another reckless night Here all alone I loathe Withering wounded one Unto my hate betrothed I sentence you to death Burn bridges light the way From ashes hell will rise The infernal reprise Through the valley of regret I devolve entirely Fixated I'm seeing red Don't look so pitiful Tired hearts and heavy heads Take me down there with you I, the most irreverent Burning in the wake of fire Hearing rats in the walls again My lovely ones Idle hands begin staggering Feeding grief Traverse beyond Through an everlasting dawn On my way back to you Suffocated No oxygen Breathe again No repentance No remorse for anything Once lived this lie Wretched denial Cursed to repeat the cycle of demise The Infernal Reprise
5.
The Mourning 05:07
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Return To the dread that I’ve known Brace myself for sorrow Let go As the fear takes control Sleep walking thru this life We were cursed to walk alone Into the fray of our minds the darkest hour before the dawn In this nightmare alive *I’m alive in dreams here tonight Wait for the daylight to take you Into the pain that’s enslaving Under the gaze of the sun Burning in my thoughts Fighting to peel back our eyelids Finding our peace in the silence Until the mourning comes I know There is nothing but hurt Outside of my window So low A worthless introvert Festering deep inside I’ve had enough Filled with disgust For in these morbid dreams I live Don’t wake me up We’re meant for nothing more Safe from the outside world Bound to this grief we endure Haunting & endless Safe here sealed to my fate Don’t wake me up from this dream I’m hanging on by a scream Destined to live in this false reality.
6.
Edge of the Unknown 03:18
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Behind a mask of normalcy I live another lie Ripped at the seams Entirety Out of my fucking mind The archetype of villainy the utmost vile If terror reigns then I’m your god tonight Load the ammo Pull the trigger Plead for your miserable life Do your worst Horrid sinner The only vengeance is mine I am only part of the bigger picture Speaking to the heart of the congregation Standing on the Brink of annihilation Waiting at the edge of the unknown Blood of my enemies Will spill forevermore (evermore) Murderous symphony Of all that I abhor All the atrocities I’ve known Imbedded in my mind The haunting memories of everything I’ve left behind Taking control Wreaking their havoc In the depths of my Decrepit flesh I know they’re never going to die Let the cruelty live thru me I have become The dreadful one Bound to my insatiable desire Conspire All will perish in the wake of violence What have I done? Certainly the end has only just begun
7.
Echoes From the Abyss 04:50
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Echoes from the abyss Placate to your vicious ruse Moving towards a darkness Trying to get back to you Behind the eyes malevolent Black as the devils I know Whispering with foul intent Awaken the fury in you Never repent No one will know All that we’ve done What we’ve lived through Show no remorse Take back what’s yours Evil incarnate Take all I have to give Weak and callous My fading breath Echo’s from the abyss Placate to your vicious ruse Peeling back the eyelids Oh, how I’ve longed for you Seductive & devilish Clinging to fear like a crutch Promises I’ve never kept Awaken the fury in you Take all I have to give Weak and callous my fading breath Feed off the contempt Hear the evil in the words of men Sent from below In the echoes Pulling me under Take all I’ve got All that I am Evil incarnate I feel no sorrow for what’s been done I let the sinister thoughts crowd my mind I hear the voices beaconing from below I can’t possibly let go I’ve become what I’ve always loathed A Product of my deviance Nothing more than a reflection of myself Strained and twisted by the inhumane
8.
Dead of Winter 07:45
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To the ends of the earth we’ll go In recompense for all we’ve done Banished to this place Bitter and remote Decaying in the dead of winter Plodding through each grim disaster Frigid as we have become Condemned to obey our masters The expelled The exiled ones Thrown To the wolves in the blistering cold Through the eye of the storm we move on Towards a bleak and menacing new dawn Can you feel it taking hold? Hundreds of degrees below To a place where no one will know You shall reap what you sow In the dead of winter From the depths of desolation Miserable wretch your time has come Frozen in disbelief Calling to the sun How have we come to be so cold and numb? Wallowing in our condition Can’t outrun its icy hold Succumb to the opposition Together we stand alone Plodding through each grim disaster Frigid as I have become Condemned to obey our masters The expelled The exiled ones A barren wasteland Is this all there will ever be? Damned to a life of misery We just don’t have the will to go on Throw me away This is the debt that I must pay To be cast out Into the whiteout
9.
Hedonist 04:21
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Don’t ever speak my name Your words are deceiving You’ll never be the same When I’m done with you Look at the mess we’ve made I can’t stop the bleeding Met with a cold embrace Dying to push through Lie down Sinister hedonist Exposed Unbound Devoid of you Tear my heart out Pull me under Let the past die Bury it here with you What have I done? Help me find the meaning Break the curse Cut right through On the edge of the blade Neurotic depression Running through my veins Commanding all I do By my own hand betrayed Consumed with aggression Execute every cut Dying to push through Murderous passions A perilous fate Comfortably comatose Waiting patiently Lie down Sinister hedonist Exposed Unbound Devoid of you Tear my heart out Pull me under Let the past die Bury it here with you What have I done? Help me find the meaning Break the curse Cut right through Tear it out Hear me pleading Lay me down I’ll show you how Cut it out Still it’s beating Just for you Cut right through Murderous passions A perilous fate Comfortably comatose Waiting endlessly
10.
Lower Self 03:39
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For when evil came On the backs of fallen angels It vowed to never leave Preying on the tortured and the weak Never to ascend Persecution beyond all belief Let the demons rest And give yourself to me Simulacrum You are the one That’s come to set me free A counterfeit A Silhouette Of what I used to be You are not alone Stare into the face of the depraved Forbid to turn back Bound to shadows broken and enslaved Never knew the truth Never really wanted to be saved Destined for nothing You’re Nothing In the darkest place Fear will only serve to stoke the flame You will not forget You have only but yourself to blame Give into the sin Moving further to a useless end Let the demons rest And give yourself to me We are the faceless The disadvantageous Born of this sorrow We are the unseen We are nothing But slaves to the suffering We will eternally strive to be free We are all alone Stared into the faces all depraved Refused to turn back In the shadows never to be saved Blinded from truth Never had a choice but to be slaves Destined for nothing You’re nothing We’re nothing

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released November 20, 2020

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Thrown Into Exile Los Angeles, California

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